VERBALIZATION of NEEDS

Verbalization of the needs is the adaptive behavioral mechanism that people have to satisfy their needs in socially acceptable ways.

This mechanism of human nature describes a person’s tendency to provide timely feedback to the surrounding people with words about the state of unsatisfaction of his needs, seeking support for their satisfaction.

The trait actually describes a behavior that allows us to share with the world what we need in interpersonal interaction.

The Verbalization of Needs scale describes a person’s tendency to complain about reality.

How does it all work?

As a result of human interaction with the surrounding world, information about the situation is perceived through the senses.

If what is happening (circumstances) is contrary to the person’s needs (and more specifically to those needs of theirs that align with their leading core values), then they begin to experience irritation. (You can find more about the emotion called irritation here)

As a result of the behavioral activation originating from the emotion of irritation, the person experiences an internal impulse to verbally articulate (express) what is happening (this applies particularly when other people are present around them).

This expression is intended to inform others about the discrepancy between the reality and the needs of the expressing person, to receive support in their quest for correction of those circumstances (toward more satisfactory ones).

Depending on the degree to which the person was rewarded (incentivized) after such behaviors (by incentivized, we mean by both – the positive results to which this behavior led in the past, and verbally by the important people around them), the person developed this tendency to varying degrees. (Most often these positive incentives occurred in early childhood, but not only).

What are the consequences of the tendency to verbalize needs as traits of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale they are:

Low Scorers:

• Pros: Described as contented and calm. Liked by others because they “don’t whine unnecessarily”, perceived as people who don’t create unnecessary problems and “don’t make an elephant out of a fly”. They are looked upon with a good eye by those around them, as they perceive them as tending to solve problems themselves rather than just complaining. Their behavior is accepted as positive towards the performance of others (because they do not “attack” every single action). Described as people who take responsibility for their lives and actions.

• Cons: Described as people who tend to put themselves in a bad position in negotiations because they do not demand their rights nor seek improvements to deteriorating conditions (sometimes a “call to attention” is necessary to address important issues). Others see them as people who do not know how to regularly win improvements for themselves and their team because they keep quiet about problems; They keep others away from their problems, which deprives them of the opportunity to receive help and assistance;

High Scorers:

• Pros: Perceived as good at pointing out what is not “OK” in their opinion, which in practice means they are good at giving negative feedback. Able to find attention, care, and assistance for their own needs. Able to express when one’s performance is not good enough.

• Cons: Often described as “whiners”, constantly complaining and perpetually dissatisfied. They find a thousand ways to say how and why something can’t be done, which is off-putting to others and acts as a stumbling block to progress. Productivity and innovation are “stopped”, which in turn leads to a reduction in the desire of others to offer them things. Described by others as prone to “absenteeism” – the time and resources given for health and self-care, at the expense of commitments. Described as tending to make exaggerated claims (altering reality to get what they need), which makes them highly biased in the eyes of others. They seem negatively disposed to other’s performance.

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in today’s social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling), there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note that the optimal results mentioned (25%-50%) are in cases of normal daily functioning in a satisfactory environment and good general levels of responsiveness and support from significant others in their life.

If this is not the case (which means that the person is in an unsatisfactory environment and does not encounter understanding from significant others), it will be more appropriate for this person to achieve levels of verbalization of needs between 50% and 75%. Again, this brings the potential for a development process.

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