PROCRASTINATION & PASSIVE AGGRESSION

Describes a person’s tendency to prioritize personal interests over current tasks and commitments, despite seemingly agreeing to carry them out.

Although both phenomena are often considered separately, in essence, they represent the same type of maladaptive behavior directed in two different directions:

• Procrastination – Towards processes and self-initiated activities. In other words, the tendency to postpone tasks that do not directly serve our leading core values, or at least their connection to them is not clear;
• Passive Aggression – Toward other people. In other words, the tendency to defer commitments to others which do not directly serve our leading core values, or at least their connection to them is not obvious.

In addition to postponement, there is often a second action – providing affirmative feedback on the fulfillment of commitments, despite internal conflict and reluctance, to avoid confrontation. (the person says they will do the thing, but then postpones, hides, or avoids the subject).

Finally, there is often a lack of feedback for reluctance to meet expectations. (The person does not say explicitly that he won’t keep the commitment, putting others “in the dark”).

The trait describes the maladaptive behavioral habit (typical maladaptive behavior) that allows us to function in unison with our needs despite circumstances, misaligned goals, and society.

We say maladaptive because doing it in the name of one need (Freedom and/or Pleasure) directly and indirectly damages our ability to satisfy other needs (Success and Achievement, Socialization, Acceptance, Status, etc.).

How does it all work?

As a result of the person’s encounter with the upcoming task or commitment, and the unconscious comparison with his leading core values, he acquires a positive or negative attitude towards that commitment or task.

If the commitment/task is inconsistent with the person’s needs (and more specifically with those needs of his that are aligned with his leading core values) then he begins to experience the emotion of irritation. (You can find more about that emotion here)

As a result of the behavioral activation originating from the emotion of irritation, the person experiences an internal urge not to engage in the activity – a kind of internal brake. Since the final yielding to such an impulse is too unacceptable for various reasons (be it personal long-term goals or social reasons), the adopted behavioral habit is activated in the person, serving as a protective mechanism, expressed in the postponement of the activity, prioritizing subjectively more important and /or currently interesting activities.

This behavioral activation serves the person in the direction of continuing to care for his own needs, despite the context in which he finds himself (be it situational or social) in situations where there is a discrepancy between reality and his needs.

Depending on the degree to which similar behaviors have given him positive results in the past, he has developed this tendency to varying degrees. (Most often, the formation of these maladaptive behavioral habits occurs in early childhood, (but not necessarily) as a protective mechanism against imposed restrictions, counter-productive circumstances and subjectively perceived as unfair demands from others).

What are the consequences of procrastination and passive aggression as trait of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale they are:

Low Scorers:

• Pros: Described as responsible, giving the impression that they can be counted on to deliver on their commitments and be consistent in their actions. Those around them see them as people “who care” and are committed to tasks and responsibilities;

• Cons: Described as people who find it difficult to compromise on their commitments, which sometimes comes at a high cost to themselves. It can lead to others taking advantage of them and assigning them things they shouldn’t. They find it difficult to “renegotiate” or refuse an already made commitment, which is often a necessity in the fast-paced social world we live in;

High Scorers:

• Pros: They appear autonomous and cooperative to other people’s requests (i.e., they appear cooperative even though they ultimately stick to their own agenda). In other words, they often confirm, without this meaning that what was said will be fulfilled. They know how to maintain neutrality in their speech when someone wants something from them without letting this influence their own position when it differs. Focused on personal interests and needs. They rarely compromise their own needs for the sake of a commitment they have made.

• Cons: Often described as people who say one thing and do another, which alienates others. They are perceived as irresponsible and as people who “cannot be relied upon”. Over time, they begin to lose “transactions” and “opportunities” from others, due to their inability to show the necessary responsibility for their actions and commitments. Have difficulties moving up in large organizations due to their inability to be accountable to commitments and people. In a family context, they encounter misunderstanding and alienation (long-term) from their partners, as they do not see in them the desired responsibility towards commitments, and hence towards the relationship overall. Difficult to coach – difficult to accept feedback. Stubborn. They show passive resistance (e.g. forget deadlines). They seem as if they do not understand the urgency of others. They become irritable when others insist and push them with their demands. Show passive resistance to social and professional improvements in results;

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in today’s social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling), there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note that the optimal results mentioned (25%-50%) are in cases of normal daily functioning in a satisfactory environment and good general levels of responsiveness and support from significant others in his life and strategically correct formulation of long-term life goals.

Note that the correct behavior in negative circumstances (if the person is in an environment where others often take advantage of him or his commitments are due to misplaced long-term personal goals), the step is not to increase his levels of procrastination and passive aggression, since these are maladaptive behaviors, in general, rather resort to the adaptive alternative for each of the two scenarios:

• For Procrastination – adaptation of long-term goals so that they are in harmony with the leading values of the person;
• For passive aggression – “Verbalization of needs“;

Such changes should be subject to a development process.

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