Procrastination & Passive Aggression

Procrastination & Passive Aggression

by | Mar 5, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Вербализация на потребностите

PROCRASTINATION & PASSIVE AGGRESSION

Describes a person’s tendency to prioritize personal interests over current tasks and commitments, despite seemingly agreeing to carry them out.

Although both phenomena are often considered separately, in essence, they represent the same type of maladaptive behavior directed in two different directions:

  • Procrastination – Towards processes and self-initiated activities. In other words, the tendency to postpone tasks that do not directly serve our leading core values, or at least their connection to them is not clear;
  • Passive Aggression – Toward other people. In other words, the tendency to defer commitments to others which do not directly serve our leading core values, or at least their connection to them is not obvious.

In addition to postponement, there is often a second action – providing affirmative feedback on the fulfillment of commitments, despite internal conflict and reluctance, to avoid confrontation. (the person says they will do the thing, but then postpones, hides, or avoids the subject).

Finally, there is often a lack of feedback for reluctance to meet expectations. (The person does not say explicitly that he won’t keep the commitment, putting others “in the dark”).

The trait describes the maladaptive behavioral habit (typical maladaptive behavior) that allows us to function in unison with our needs despite circumstances, misaligned goals, and society.

We say maladaptive because doing it in the name of one need (Freedom and/or Pleasure) directly and indirectly damages our ability to satisfy other needs (Success and Achievement, Socialization, Acceptance, Status, etc.).

 

How does it all work?

As a result of the person’s encounter with the upcoming task or commitment, and the unconscious comparison with his leading core values, he acquires a positive or negative attitude towards that commitment or task.

If the commitment/task is inconsistent with the person’s needs (and more specifically with those needs of his that are aligned with his leading core values) then he begins to experience the emotion of irritation. (You can find more about that emotion here)

As a result of the behavioral activation originating from the emotion of irritation, the person experiences an internal urge not to engage in the activity – a kind of internal brake. Since the final yielding to such an impulse is too unacceptable for various reasons (be it personal long-term goals or social reasons), the adopted behavioral habit is activated in the person, serving as a protective mechanism, expressed in the postponement of the activity, prioritizing subjectively more important and /or currently interesting activities.

This behavioral activation serves the person in the direction of continuing to care for his own needs, despite the context in which he finds himself (be it situational or social) in situations where there is a discrepancy between reality and his needs.

Depending on the degree to which similar behaviors have given him positive results in the past, he has developed this tendency to varying degrees. (Most often, the formation of these maladaptive behavioral habits occurs in early childhood, (but not necessarily) as a protective mechanism against imposed restrictions, counter-productive circumstances and subjectively perceived as unfair demands from others).

What are the consequences of procrastination and passive aggression as trait of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale they are:

 

Low Scorers:

  • Pros: Described as responsible, giving the impression that they can be counted on to deliver on their commitments and be consistent in their actions. Those around them see them as people “who care” and are committed to tasks and responsibilities;
  • Cons: Described as people who find it difficult to compromise on their commitments, which sometimes comes at a high cost to themselves. It can lead to others taking advantage of them and assigning them things they shouldn’t. They find it difficult to “renegotiate” or refuse an already made commitment, which is often a necessity in the fast-paced social world we live in;

 

High Scorers:

  • Pros: They appear autonomous and cooperative to other people’s requests (i.e., they appear cooperative even though they ultimately stick to their own agenda). In other words, they often confirm, without this meaning that what was said will be fulfilled. They know how to maintain neutrality in their speech when someone wants something from them without letting this influence their own position when it differs. Focused on personal interests and needs. They rarely compromise their own needs for the sake of a commitment they have made.
  • Cons: Often described as people who say one thing and do another, which alienates others. They are perceived as irresponsible and as people who “cannot be relied upon”. Over time, they begin to lose “transactions” and “opportunities” from others, due to their inability to show the necessary responsibility for their actions and commitments. Have difficulties moving up in large organizations due to their inability to be accountable to commitments and people. In a family context, they encounter misunderstanding and alienation (long-term) from their partners, as they do not see in them the desired responsibility towards commitments, and hence towards the relationship overall. Difficult to coach – difficult to accept feedback. Stubborn. They show passive resistance (e.g. forget deadlines). They seem as if they do not understand the urgency of others. They become irritable when others insist and push them with their demands. Show passive resistance to social and professional improvements in results;

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in today’s social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling), there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note that the optimal results mentioned (25%-50%) are in cases of normal daily functioning in a satisfactory environment and good general levels of responsiveness and support from significant others in his life and strategically correct formulation of long-term life goals.

Note that the correct behavior in negative circumstances (if the person is in an environment where others often take advantage of him or his commitments are due to misplaced long-term personal goals), the step is not to increase his levels of procrastination and passive aggression, since these are maladaptive behaviors, in general, rather resort to the adaptive alternative for each of the two scenarios:

  • For Procrastination – adaptation of long-term goals so that they are in harmony with the leading values of the person;
  • For passive aggression – “Verbalization of needs“;

Such changes should be subject to a development process.

OK, Now what?

 

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Verbalization of Needs

Verbalization of Needs

by | Mar 4, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Вербализация на потребностите

VERBALIZATION of NEEDS

Verbalization of the needs is the adaptive behavioral mechanism that people have to satisfy their needs in socially acceptable ways.

This mechanism of human nature describes a person’s tendency to provide timely feedback to the surrounding people with words about the state of unsatisfaction of his needs, seeking support for their satisfaction.

The trait actually describes a behavior that allows us to share with the world what we need in interpersonal interaction.

The Verbalization of Needs scale describes a person’s tendency to complain about reality.

 

How does it all work?

As a result of human interaction with the surrounding world, information about the situation is perceived through the senses.

If what is happening (circumstances) is contrary to the person’s needs (and more specifically to those needs of theirs that align with their leading core values), then they begin to experience irritation. (You can find more about the emotion called irritation here)

As a result of the behavioral activation originating from the emotion of irritation, the person experiences an internal impulse to verbally articulate (express) what is happening (this applies particularly when other people are present around them).

This expression is intended to inform others about the discrepancy between the reality and the needs of the expressing person, to receive support in their quest for correction of those circumstances (toward more satisfactory ones).

Depending on the degree to which the person was rewarded (incentivized) after such behaviors (by incentivized, we mean by both – the positive results to which this behavior led in the past, and verbally by the important people around them), the person developed this tendency to varying degrees. (Most often these positive incentives occurred in early childhood, but not only).

What are the consequences of the tendency to verbalize needs as traits of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale they are:

 

Low Scorers:

  • Pros: Described as contented and calm. Liked by others because they “don’t whine unnecessarily”, perceived as people who don’t create unnecessary problems and “don’t make an elephant out of a fly”. They are looked upon with a good eye by those around them, as they perceive them as tending to solve problems themselves rather than just complaining. Their behavior is accepted as positive towards the performance of others (because they do not “attack” every single action). Described as people who take responsibility for their lives and actions.
  • Cons: Described as people who tend to put themselves in a bad position in negotiations because they do not demand their rights nor seek improvements to deteriorating conditions (sometimes a “call to attention” is necessary to address important issues). Others see them as people who do not know how to regularly win improvements for themselves and their team because they keep quiet about problems; They keep others away from their problems, which deprives them of the opportunity to receive help and assistance;

 

High Scorers:

  • Pros: Perceived as good at pointing out what is not “OK” in their opinion, which in practice means they are good at giving negative feedback. Able to find attention, care, and assistance for their own needs. Able to express when one’s performance is not good enough.
  • Cons: Often described as “whiners”, constantly complaining and perpetually dissatisfied. They find a thousand ways to say how and why something can’t be done, which is off-putting to others and acts as a stumbling block to progress. Productivity and innovation are “stopped”, which in turn leads to a reduction in the desire of others to offer them things. Described by others as prone to “absenteeism” – the time and resources given for health and self-care, at the expense of commitments. Described as tending to make exaggerated claims (altering reality to get what they need), which makes them highly biased in the eyes of others. They seem negatively disposed to other’s performance.

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in today’s social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling), there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note that the optimal results mentioned (25%-50%) are in cases of normal daily functioning in a satisfactory environment and good general levels of responsiveness and support from significant others in their life.

If this is not the case (which means that the person is in an unsatisfactory environment and does not encounter understanding from significant others), it will be more appropriate for this person to achieve levels of verbalization of needs between 50% and 75%. Again, this brings the potential for a development process.

OK, Now what?

 

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Rebelliousness VS Attachment

Rebelliousness VS Attachment

by | Feb 18, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Science-based Approach in Personality Development: Unlocking Potential through Psychological Profiling

REBELLIOUSNESS vs ATTACHMENT

Rebelliousness and Attachment are two sides of the same social mechanism in human nature. It is the social mechanism describing how a person experiences dependence on others and on authority (relationships with parents, bosses, and powerful friends).

We say social because its manifestations are activated in a social context.

The Rebelliousness vs Attachment Scale as a trait of human nature represents a spectrum ranging from rebellious tendencies to strong attachment within social dynamics.

 

How does it all actually work?

In early childhood, different family circumstances occur in our lives. Those circumstances create different early attachment experiences towards our parents which in turn, shape our attachment styles.

Quality parenting and “adaptive attachment” with both parents in early childhood contribute to positive relationship dynamics later in life, while “maladaptive attachment” can lead to challenges in forming and maintaining future relationships and social bonds.

We call “adaptive attachment” one where both parents do reasonably well with the 3 core parenting tasks:

1) To take care of the child’s needs;

2) Taking care of the partner’s needs, demonstrating this to the child through their behaviors;

3) To provide the child with all the necessary knowledge and skills so that later on the child could be able to take care of his own needs;

In contrast, we call “maladaptive attachment” the cases when one or more of the mentioned 3 core parenting tasks are not performed sufficiently.

*(More about adaptive parenting techniques, as well as neurobiological mechanisms “unlocked” in the child’s brain as a consequence of different types of parenting, can be found in the chapter “Social-Functional Parenting”)

Depending on these early experiences, various neurobiological processes are activated in the child, causing neuroplastic changes, thus “rewiring” different neural pathways in their nervous system and brain, predisposing the child to specific future emotional, intellectual, physiological, and behavioral reactions to their interactions with other people and in dependency situations.

In other words, if the child is exposed to proper parenting and adaptive communication between both parents, it develops abilities for normal attachment and is capable of co-existing normally in dependent circumstances later in life.

On the other hand, if the couple has experienced different dysfunctions and/or difficulties (for example, due to single parenting, professional problems, or physical impairments), this can easily lead to neglect of the child’s needs and consequently to dysregulations in the mentioned neurobiological processes in their brain.

This, in turn, often leads to the formation of rebellious tendencies towards behaviors that serve the child to “win their freedom” from the “tyranny” of dysfunctional parenting, which is unable to adequately care for their needs and “fights” against everything and everyone in the name of its own needs.

Depending on the extent to which a person is inclined to be rebellious, we can observe different behaviors.

What are the consequences of Rebelliousness as a trait of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale of “Rebelliousness vs Attachment” they are:

Low Scorers:

Pros: Others perceive them as autonomous – either from others or from authority. In group settings, they are the rebels who challenge questionable norms and make it clear that unfair treatment and unjust actions won’t be tolerated.

Cons: Others describe them as people who intentionally do the opposite of what they are told, just as a principal. Often develop negative attitudes, hostility, fear, and/or unwillingness to commit (either to a long-term relationship, job position, or business partnership). Others describe them as avoiding all situations of dependence. In the long term, they fail to become part of the political processes in organizations, which automatically “throws them out of the game”. Often described as people who cannot cooperate well in relations of dependence. Basically unable to function optimally in a relationship with a more dominant partner.

 

High Scorers:

Pros: Well-socialized individuals. Often described as people who have a positive attitude towards authority. Able to live very well in obedience and dependence, which makes them very good at functioning in organizational and group hierarchies. They know how to follow rules, imposed by authorities, and they are not feeling bad because of it. Easily make the difficult decisions that the authorities want of them. Have the ability to be a meaningful/strategic part of the political coalitions in the organization.

 

Cons: Often develop dependencies on other people. Unable to (or late to) stand up to injustices. Often are described as people, who are willing to jump beyond the moral norms in the name of subordination (think “the Milgram’s experiment”). Often described as lacking their own opinion because of their tendency to agree. (although this may not be the case at all).

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in the nowadays social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling) there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note, that the mentioned optimal results (25%-50%) are in cases of normal everyday functioning with good overall levels of in-group satisfaction.

If this is not the case (meaning the person is in non-satisfactional group setting or in a group with a dysfunctional leadership), that person will be better suited with levels of rebelliousness between 50% and 75%. Again – that is a potential for a developmental process.

OK, Now what?

 

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Anger & Hostility

Anger & Hostility

by | Feb 15, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Science-based Approach in Personality Development: Unlocking Potential through Psychological Profiling

ANGER AND HOSTILITY

Anger is the subjective emotional & mental state that activates in us when we perceive that someone is acting or speaking in ways that are against our needs.

It’s function is to help us protect ourselves against negative (for our needs) interpersonal interference by pushing us towards proactive hostile (most-often) interpersonal interaction.

The trait of human nature called “Angry Hostility”, describes the tendency of a person to act in a hostile manner

How does it all actually work?

  • As a result of interpersonal communication, the information about the situation is perceived through the senses.

  • The amygdala (one of the emotional centers in the brain) responds to outside stimuli, processes incoming information, and coordinates the release of different neurotransmitters and hormones, including Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Epinephrine.

  • These cause a person to feel a burst of energy preparing him for physical action, contributing to the fight-or-flight response.

  • Moreover, the focus of that person narrows on the challenging factors coming from the other person and at the same time disregards the bigger picture (which usually includes the reasons why the other person had done the things he had and therefore makes the needed understanding for resolving the problem peacefully a much harder task)

  • The overall effect is total bodily and mental mobilization for facing a potential challenge. (Which in this case is another person).

  • In such scenarios, the only thing preventing a full-blown violent reaction

    is the ability of that person (that is in the mentioned state) to start actively using his or her prefrontal cortex to control their judgment instead of acting on impulse (in a primal way such as aggression for example)

Depending on the degree to which a person tends to experience such internal reactions and to use his or her prefrontal cortex to exercise self-control we can observe different decision-making and behavioral manifestations.

What are the consequences of anger and hostility as a trait of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale of “Angry Hostility” they are:

Low Scorers:

Pros: Perceived by others as non-aggressive and peaceful. Described as people who would rather retreat than enter into a sharp confrontation which is described as being a good soul and harmless (in a good way). Others do not perceive them as a “threat”, but rather as accepting and empathetic (even though it might not be true). It looks like they agree even if they do not completely agree which makes them desired interlocutors (people to talk to).

Cons: Have no chance in a highly aggressive environment; They could hardly be “Alpha” in one group; They can easily be “pressed” to back down; Often interpreted as soft;

High Scorers:

Pros: Described as people who do not allow to be insulted; They do not allow anyone to push them around and are ready to show it, if necessary, in an aggressive way; Do not avoid confrontations and “fights”; They do not agree with everything said, and this is in practice the ability to provide direct feedback; Fast to react to injustices;

Cons: On the flip side, their behavior is perceived as hostile; People avoid “serving” them bad news and thus deprive them of information; People around them perceive them as aggressive, and often “dangerous” physically; They argue, and they are always “upside down”; This tendency makes them more susceptible to negative emotions from other people and often spiteful; They often spoil the “atmosphere” in the group, and therefore the group isolates them over time;

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in the nowadays social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling) there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note, that the mentioned optimal results (25%-50%) are in cases of normal everyday functioning within a non-hostile environment and good overall levels of life satisfaction.

If this is not the case (meaning the person is in hostile environment, that person will be better suited with levels of Angry-Hostility between 50% and 75%. Again – that is a potential for a developmental process.

OK, Now what?

 

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Interoception

Interoception

by | Feb 12, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Science-based Approach in Personality Development: Unlocking Potential through Psychological Profiling

INTEROCEPTION

Interoception is the physiological mechanism that helps us to sense the internal processes of our body and changes occurred in the functioning of different organs.

It’s function is to help us identify when a change that disrupts our homeostasis has occurred in our body and to actively take actions to restore the balance.

The trait of human nature called “Interoception”, describes the capacity of a person to interocept (to have recognizable sense of changes in his body.

How does it all actually work??

  • Neural Networks: Interoception involves a complex interplay of neural networks, in different centers of the brain. Those centers work in tandem to process and integrate signals from various organs and tissues throughout the body.
  • Sensory Receptors: Specialized sensory receptors, known as interoceptors, are scattered across organs such as the heart, lungs, gastrointestinal tract, and other internal systems. These receptors detect changes in temperature, pressure, and chemical composition, sending signals to the brain through the nervous system.
  • Neurotransmitters: Chemical messengers, like serotonin, dopamine, and others, play a crucial role in transmitting signals within the interoceptive pathways. They modulate the perception of internal states and contribute to emotional responses linked to bodily sensations. This is actually how our bodily sensations and our emotions are connected.
  • Homeostatic Regulation: The brain continuously monitors the body’s internal environment, striving to maintain homeostasis. When a deviation occurs, the interoceptive system activates, signaling the need for adjustments to restore balance.
  • Cortical Integration: The above-mentioned signals we experience as combinations of bodily sensations, emotional experiences, and cognitive processes. The brain integrates them with external sensory information. This integration forms the basis for our conscious awareness of internal states and influences decision-making and behavior.

Depending on the degree to which a person is able to interocept, we can observe different decision-making and behavioral manifestations.

What are the consequences of interoception as a trait of human nature for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale of capacity to interocept they are:

Low Scorers:

Pros: Those with lower interoceptive tendencies may excel in external-focused tasks, remaining less preoccupied with internal bodily sensations. This external focus can foster adaptability and a pragmatic approach to challenges without “breaking” every time a slight (or even a medium) change in the internal homeostasis occurs (which usually is very often phenomenon). Often described by others as calm and composed in challenging situations (even though it might not be the case).

Cons: However, they may struggle to recognize subtle changes in their internal states, potentially leading to delayed responses to bodily needs. This lack of awareness can hinder their ability to proactively address imbalances and take care of own needs. Furthermore there are studies suggesting that low levels of interoception influence negatively one’s ability to empathise with others, since they do not have proper understanding of the potential discomfort that other people experience with disrupted internal states. This in turn, makes them think that others are exaggerating their reaction and ultimately leads to poor interpersonal outcomes.

High Scorers:

Pros: Individuals with heightened interoceptive abilities often excel in self-regulation. They can promptly identify and respond to internal changes, maintaining a proactive approach to well-being. This heightened awareness could contribute to more adaptive decision-making about ways to approach own needs.

Cons: On the flip side, excessive preoccupation with internal sensations may lead to heightened emotionality and/ or a hypervigilant awareness of bodily functions. This is often described by others as hypersensitivity, which often leads to irritability and exaggerated negative emotional reactivity.

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in the nowadays social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling) there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note, that the mentioned optimal results (25%-50%) are in cases of normal everyday functioning with good overall levels of life satisfaction.

If this is not the case (meaning the person is not able to satisfy his or her needs regularly and is demonstrating higher levels of irritability and emotional reactivity), that person will be better suited with levels of interoception between 50% and 75%. Again – that is a potential for a developmental process,

OK, Now what?

 

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Self-Reflection

Self-Reflection

by | Feb 11, 2024 | Human Nature Traits

Science-based Approach in Personality Development: Unlocking Potential through Psychological Profiling

SELF-REFLECTION

Self-reflection is the intellectual mechanism that allows the individual to become self-aware in order to be able to take care of his own needs.

Self-awareness on the other hand is the end product of self-reflection and is the ability to think of own needs, emotions, thoughts, behaviours, social interactions, and values.

The trait of human nature that psychology explores is called “Propensity to self-reflection”, and is a long-term tendency of a person to self-reflect on a regular basis.

How does it all actually work?

 

To fully understand self-reflection we need to trace what happens with the human mind during the process of self-reflection through the 6 basic cognitive processes:

  • Attention – We focus our attention inwards – on our emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, interpersonal states, behaviors and values;

  • Awareness – We experience clarity (or confusion in the absence of awareness) about what our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations mean, why we experience them, and what they push us to do. Furthermore, we experience clarity (or confusion) about what are the different ways our behaviors influence others;

  • Memory – We remember the ways different things influenced us in the past;

  • Logic – We analyze cause-and-effect relations about the events and phenomena that have led us to those feelings, thoughts, sensations, and behaviors;

  • Creativity – Our imagination comes up with potential ways of how would we feel in possible imaginary situations;

  • Anticipation – We try to predict the potential outcomes of our behaviors;

Depending on the degree to which a person engages in the cognitive processes described above, we can observe different behavioral manifestations.

 

What are the manifestations of the propensity for self-reflection as a trait of human nature and what are the consequences for people’s lives, depending on where on the scale of propensity for self-reflection they are:

Low Scorers:

* Pros: People with lower levels of self-reflection are often described as people who are able to see the world and gain a “fresh perspective” instead of becoming absorbed in themselves and their thoughts and “ways”. In other words – are seen by others as less egocentric. They don’t worry excessively about how imperfect they are.

* Cons: Described as lacking objective self-assessment. Often suffer a lack of clear understanding of their own needs. Often miss many of the cause-and-effect connections concerning them personally. Lack the ability to objectively assess the impressions they make in other’s eyes and cannot therefore objectively assess their own public image and reputation.

High Scorers

* Pros: People with higher levels of self-reflection often understand well how the world affects them, which brings them benefits both in taking care of their own needs and in future interactions with others. They have a good sense of how their thoughts and emotions affect their behavior. Self-reflection could enhance emotional stability and significantly help the ability to realize their own emotions (although it is not enough in itself). People with high scores on that trait are more adequate in decision-making and have more sober judgments of what is within their power and what is not.

* Cons: Tend to focus too much on the self, which makes them look self-absorbed in the eyes of others (or in other words – egocentric). Excessive introspection “anchors” them in the past and makes them “blind” to their potential, hindering change (depriving them of the fresh “external perspective”). Moreover, this could create strong negative tendencies in them (especially if high on other traits such as “Anxiety” and/or “Regrets”). Since we are all presumably imperfect and weak, excessive self-knowledge can lead to “stumbling” due to awareness of our own imperfection and weakness and therefore influence our confidence negatively.

Desired scores (for optimal functioning in the nowadays social world) – between the 25th and 50th percentile. If the person shows different results (after psychological profiling) there is potential for a developmental process.

Please note, that the mentioned optimal results (25%-50%) are in cases of normal everyday functioning with good overall levels of life satisfaction.

If this is not the case (meaning the person is not able to satisfy his or her needs regularly and is demonstrating higher levels of irritability and emotional reactivity), that person will be better suited with levels of self-reflection between 50% and 75%. Again – that is a potential for a developmental process,

OK, Now what?

 

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